What’s the best way to get information from another person?  Ask them for it. 

It’s amazing what people will tell you with just a little nudge or some subtle guidance. 

In fact, people are so anxious to tell you what they know, sometimes to learn something interesting, all you need to do is listen.

I was on a flight from Chicago to Detroit a few nights ago, and was sitting next to two total strangers.  I had the aisle seat as always, there was a guy next to me who was coming back from Vegas, and the fellow at the window was on his way to a company meeting.

I’m not much on plane conversation, and I’m not an eavesdropper; but I was a captive (more…)

Occasionally I get invitiations to guest-post on other blogs, and sometime last year I got one from Seth Simonds, who runs the popular relationship advice blog, thedatingpapers.com.   He asked me to write a piece on deception in personal relationships, something I thought you (more…)

Have you ever said something to another person, and they didn’t take it the right way?  They got the wrong message, one you never intended… in fact, they “heard” something you didn’t even say? 

It’s pretty common that people hear the words of others and put their own spin on them.  Sometimes they hear what they want to hear.  Sometimes they even hear what they don’t want to hear… and still give you the credit for saying it.

If you’ve read my book (shameless plug:  If you haven’t, click on the cover above to get yours) you probably know more about me than I realized I was giving up when I wrote it.  But (more…)

So here’s the proposition I’m asking you to consider today:  A person would rather admit to lying, than admit they fell for a lie.

You want proof?  I don’t blame you.  Stay with me, I’ll give it to you.

Deception is a game, of sorts:  One side plays, and the other gets played.  Nobody enjoys that, of course, feeling like a sucker; or worse yet, appearing to be one.  And one-on-one’s bad enough, but in front of the whole planet?  Yikes, man, now that’s hard on a (more…)

I haven’t seen The Invention of Lying yet, but the internet hype has been hard to miss:  The admissions of co-star Jennifer Garner regarding her own use of deception. 

Her comments have been recounted across countless blogs and news cites, with all the pieces I’ve seen titled, “Jennifer Garner is a Compulsive Liar”.

Why the rough label?  Well, she confessed… that she lies. 

So 2 points come to mind: 

1-Well, she’s actually not a compulsive liar, just an ordinary one, and the use of this label underscores that when it comes to lying and deception, misconceptions abound. 

Compulsive liars tell lies when there’s no (more…)