It was my turn to address the group at a meeting of the National Speakers Association a few nights ago, and I opened by saying, “In my past life, I used to get confessions out of people…” 

Before I could say another word, a lady blurted out in amazement, “You used to be a priest?!” 

Me, a priest… wow, now that’s a new one.  Of course, the confessions I used to listen to were in a police station, not a church!

But occasionally I have a confession of my own, so here’s one now:  I watched ABC’s The Bachelorette.  Not just one night, but two.  I did it for my wife, okay?  Will I watch the whole season?  No.  Well, if she makes me.

Anyway, since confessions and accusations always travel together, I have one of those, too: (more…)

My interview this week on WNYC’s Leonard Lopate Show started me thinking about public figures and deception.

Question:  How many celebrity scandals involve deception?  

Answer:  All of ‘em!

Scandals can be limited to a household, or they can be known to the whole world.  And whether it’s Bill Clinton, Bernie Madoff, Jesse James, or the person living next door to you who’s at the heart of controversy, the whole thing always unfolds like this: 

Phase 1—The Act:  Somebody tried to fool somebody else (spouse, business partner, investors, the public…). 

Phase 2—The Cover-up:  After their short term wants are satisfied, they have to conceal (more…)

What’s the best way to get information from another person?  Ask them for it. 

It’s amazing what people will tell you with just a little nudge or some subtle guidance. 

In fact, people are so anxious to tell you what they know, sometimes to learn something interesting, all you need to do is listen.

I was on a flight from Chicago to Detroit a few nights ago, and was sitting next to two total strangers.  I had the aisle seat as always, there was a guy next to me who was coming back from Vegas, and the fellow at the window was on his way to a company meeting.

I’m not much on plane conversation, and I’m not an eavesdropper; but I was a captive (more…)

Occasionally I get invitiations to guest-post on other blogs, and sometime last year I got one from Seth Simonds, who runs the popular relationship advice blog, thedatingpapers.com.   He asked me to write a piece on deception in personal relationships, something I thought you (more…)

There’s more to April Fools’ Day than most people realize.

It’s “celebrated” in many countries, goes back to at least the 14th Century, and is practiced in some places according to the time of day.  Can get pretty intricate.  You can see a general history of it here.

Some people get pretty elaborate and use the day for cover to execute pranks on the unsuspecting.  If you’re the mischevious type, or you just want to know (more…)

Those of you up to speed on your Little Rascals might have realized where I got the inspiration for the title of my last post:  “Breaks is Gone, We’s Free-Wheelin!”.  It came from the episode where Spanky and Buckwheat start downhill in their car fashioned from an old crate, and mid-way down realize their brakes (also homemade) are out.  

I never questioned the title until I re-read it this week, and something ironic occurred to me. 

The Toyota story wasn’t about bad brakes; they worked fine, didn’t they?  The problem was just the opposite:  Too much gas! 

But consider this, having no way to stop and having too much power brings the same exact result:  An out of control vehicle.

Is a little strange that two opposites could be contained in the same thing?  You may have (more…)

When news broke this week about the accelerator sticking on a California man’s Prius, the media reported it as factual, and average people said to one another, “Hey,  did you hear (more…)

Coincidence is a funny thing… so strange I really don’t believe in it anymore. 

So it just happened to be that my travels landed me in St. Louis this week, on the very day that former Cardinal Mark McGwire finally admitted his steroid use… after years of dodging the subject.

Unlike most public figures under accusation, he never outright lied about his guilt.  But along with breaking Roger Maris’s season home run record, McGwire is also remembered for inartfully dodging questions about steroid use in his 2005 Congressional testimony.  You can see the video here.

Hey, it didn’t take Columbo to know that he was avoiding the truth.  It was easy to deduce by his “answers” that he had taken steroids.  Still, he accomplished his goal:  He didn’t admit the truth, and he didn’t lie… that’s the delicate art of (more…)

Have you ever said something to another person, and they didn’t take it the right way?  They got the wrong message, one you never intended… in fact, they “heard” something you didn’t even say? 

It’s pretty common that people hear the words of others and put their own spin on them.  Sometimes they hear what they want to hear.  Sometimes they even hear what they don’t want to hear… and still give you the credit for saying it.

If you’ve read my book (shameless plug:  If you haven’t, click on the cover above to get yours) you probably know more about me than I realized I was giving up when I wrote it.  But (more…)

Have you ever you ever trusted another person… and later wished you hadn’t?  

Welcome to the club.  Subterfuge is a sport, and you’re in the game—whether you know it or not.

Trusting others is necessary… and it’s also risky.  Trust another person, and you’re taking a chance, you become vulnerable.  Cynical, you think?  Put to words, reality sometimes sounds that way.  

Why do people violate our trust?  Well, the specific situations are infinite, of course, but (more…)