Last month I gave you a post that touched on the subject of duality, and I’ve gotten several emails from readers about it in the meantime. 

Some didn’t fully understand it—others were fascinated by it.

One of those who wrote gave me a perfect example of duality in conversation, and I thought you might enjoy it. 

Why Men Don’t Write Advice Columns…

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here.  The other day I set off for work, leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual.  I hadn’t driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband’s help.  When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes.  He was alone in (more…)

Getting uncommon results in any conversation comes down to this very simple point:  Overcoming distractions, and maintaining focus—on what’s being said and what we’ll say next.

We often miss the subtleties of what’s being said in conversation simply because we’re focusing on other things.  Irrelevant things. 

Like where we’re going to eat tonight.

Or we’re focusing on the person’s clothing. 

Or on what’s going on around us.

There’s an interesting story this week at the Daily Express that touches on this very powerful phenomenon of human nature, and it’s this:  When we’re not focused on what matters, by default, we’ll be focused on what does not matter.

The article cites a study by British psychologists that found women are more attracted to a man in a “fancy motor than in an old banger”.  Women paid more attention to a guy driving a (more…)