Getting uncommon results in any conversation comes down to this very simple point:  Overcoming distractions, and maintaining focus—on what’s being said and what we’ll say next.

We often miss the subtleties of what’s being said in conversation simply because we’re focusing on other things.  Irrelevant things. 

Like where we’re going to eat tonight.

Or we’re focusing on the person’s clothing. 

Or on what’s going on around us.

There’s an interesting story this week at the Daily Express that touches on this very powerful phenomenon of human nature, and it’s this:  When we’re not focused on what matters, by default, we’ll be focused on what does not matter.

The article cites a study by British psychologists that found women are more attracted to a man in a “fancy motor than in an old banger”.  Women paid more attention to a guy driving a (more…)

When a self-serving lie is told, it’s usually for the purpose of fixing something.  

A person’s done something they shouldn’t have, and now they need to dodge the consequences. 

So it’s always a two part process: Conduct, then Cover-up.  Or just think of it as Action and Reaction—but all in one person.  

Of course, sometimes there’s a third step that comes after Conduct and Cover-up:  Discovery.

Hey, nobody likes to be lied to.  So discovery can stir folks up.  In fact, when it’s discovered, a lie sometimes ends up becoming the focus, actually eclipsing the conduct that was lied about.

A few days ago on the North side of Chicago, Philip R. Tate allegedly beat another man to (more…)

With augmented lips and a pile of babies, the question’s been raised, “Is she trying to emulate Angelina Jolie?” 

You’ll remember that Octo-Mom gave birth to eight IVF babies a couple months back, and that she already had six sprouts at home from the previous round.  That’s right, 14 kids and only two birthdays to remember.

There’s an exclusive video interview with Octo-Mom, released today at RadarOnline.  If you haven’t seen it yet, go there now and take a look, gather your own thoughts on the video, then come back here and I’ll give you my take.   

While most folks are looking at Octo-Mom with a “She’s nuts!” approach, I’m more interested (more…)

Regarding the Goethe post this afternoon (you should probably read it first, below):  I finished it up and headed out of the hotel to get something to eat.  It’s nice in Phoenix today (70s), so I wanted a place with outside seating—and a spot in the sun.

Found the right joint, got my food, brought it out and took a seat at a table street-side.  I (more…)

Ever heard of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe?

Most folks probably haven’t, but in his prime (200 years ago), he was a well-known German writer, considered by some to be the last polymath who walked the earth.  

Sure, he’s an old guy, but sometimes they know a thing or two. 

Goethe was into poetry, literature, painting, theology, science, humanism, and was even one of those with the official title that has to be one of the best ever (so good it’s gone out of style): THINKER.  He even influenced Darwin—could Darwin be influenced?  Hmm…

Anyway, here’s one of Goethe’s thoughts:  “We are never really deceived; we deceive ourselves.” 

Others don’t deceive us, we do it to ourselves?  Now that’s deep thinking.

Might sound strange at first, but only because we’ve been used to viewing deception as (more…)

When it comes to a person’s truthfulness—or lack of it, really—rationalization is usually at work when they’re trying to cover up what they don’t want you to know.

Here’s a little piece of reality:  Deception comes naturally to people.  Everyone has done it, and everyone has had it done to them. It’s a self-preservation technique, ready at a moment’s notice to snatch us from any jam.

Another trait that most of us share?  Rationalization.  We typically find a way to make what we want to do, seem like the only sensible thing to do.  We rationalize buying a new car-by telling ourselves the one we’re driving is untrustworthy because it has too many miles.  We rationalize a bad action toward another person-by reminding ourselves of what they’ve done toward us in the past.  People tend to find ways to make their actions and deeds make (more…)