What are You Thinking? How to Eliminate Regret and Worry Through Mastery of “The 3 Places of Thought”…
Seems like once a month someone asks me, “When are you gonna write another book?”
And my answer is always: “I won’t write another book until everybody has a copy of this one.”
Sounds firm, and I do mean it… but these pesky ideas keep coming to me. A lot them I keep going back to (they keep going back to me, really) revolve around Thought Control.
So I thought I’d share one of these ideas with you—and I’ll admit to you right up front, the “idea” I’m about to share with you happens to be nothing more than an “observation of the obvious”. And if you’re inclined to discount the value of observing the obvious, understand the consequences of not doing it. Whatever the situation, subject, or dilemma, to our detriment we sometimes:
-Underestimate simplicity,
-Search for a complicated solution when a workable one is right at hand, or
-Take the obvious for granted
So here we go, for your consideration here’s my Observation of the Obvious…
There are Only 3 Places Our Thoughts Can Be:
1-In the past,
2-In the present, or
3-In the future
Self-observation is something most of us don’t do too often. And be careful, Self-observation isn’t to be confused with Self-criticism or Self-doubt, which most of us administer to ourselves regularly.
What I’m talking about is noticing your thoughts. Have you ever noticed where yours are? Where is most of your “thinking” is placed? Is it in the past, the present, or the future?
Here’s my belief: Most of us spend the OVERWHELMING MAJORITY of our time thinking about the past… or about the future.
So now I’m forced to give you another Observation of the Obvious, one that I’m betting most people don’t consider, and some would even argue against: The past and the future do not exist.
The past is over. It can’t be changed, and in fact it only “lives” because we give it life through memory (watch Memento again). And this is the part that some would refuse to accept: Keeping the past alive is a choice, albeit one made by default. It’s human nature to keep the past alive by thinking about it—while failing to appreciate that we may have a choice in the matter.
The future has never been. Hey, it’s even “less-existent” than the past, because it doesn’t live in our memory, it lives in our imagination. And our imagination, oddly enough, is even more powerful, because it starts with reality and can go absolutely anywhere from there!
Have you ever worried about something and it didn’t even happen… or it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be… or it even turned out really well? Looking back, what was worse: The worry, or the actual event?
So we think about the past, and we experience regret, remorse, and grief.
We think about the future and we fret.
Here’s a simple fact: The only thing you can truly control in life are your thoughts. It sounds at the same time too simple, and too unattainable… but it’s neither. And ironically, I’m betting that most people believe their thoughts are the one thing they have no way of controlling.
And who can blame them? Thought Control is a concept no one ever teaches us, in fact we’re conditioned to have a belief in the real existence of the past and the future. In our unwitting subscription to this myth, we’re doomed to be controlled by memory and imagination.
So notice where your thoughts are, and the next time (watch out, it’ll be very soon) your thoughts are holding you captive in either the past or the present, stop yourself.
Look around.
Are there any problems present at that very moment?
The trick is staying there: Right in the present moment.
It’s really the best place to be.
Enjoy yourself… oh and your thoughts (ahem) on all of this are invited, just start writing below…
-jef
Refer this blog post to a friend or colleague…
Tags: Thought Control
Jef, this is a great post and a lot of people will benefit from this. Just last night before going to bed i literally enumerated the thoughts I have been preoccupied with during the day. Someone said that at any given time, every person is in a trance preoccupied with an average of 4 things in their minds. I had double. And so i thought to myself, what’s the most important thing I get to focus on? And i immediately knew the answer.
I like how you describe the past as memory, and the future as imagination. I don’t think I’ve come across anyone who put it that way before. It’ll be good to always do a mind check and ask ourselves - am i focusing on a memory, or on something imagined?
If most of us are focused on ‘NOW’ I truly believe the world will be a much happier place.
Suggested reading: Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth.
And yes, I love your book Conquering Deception- a lot of practical things I’ve learned there that i apply in my encounters with different people.
Thank you Jef and more power.
*Jeannie
hi Jeannie, many thanks… avg person is preoccupied with 4 things, interesting. I can believe that.
That’s pretty good that you were actually counting the number of things you were thinking about… you’re in a very small minority who ever stop to observe their own thinking this way. Amazing.
So in any given typical moment, there’s usually ZERO stress… usually pretty peaceful… so our thoughts immediately go backward or forward to find some, right?!
Great to hear your take on this Jeannie, thanks much!
-je
wow. “in any given typical moment, there’s usually ZERO stress”
So it is possible! Just met a person who’s like this, always happy.
Thank you!
*j
I’ve met people like that, too, who were happy (and looking at their circumstances they had good reason not to be!)… and it has amazed me.
Ironically, the ones I’ve known with this unshakeable positive attitude didn’t have some master plan for ’staying in the moment’, rather they seemed to just ignore the negatives. Maybe I misjudged, but that was the best explanation I could come up with. No plan or science, just their nature.
But their attitude can be mimicked successfully… for the multitudes that don’t have this innate trait, the synthetic version is what I’ve cited: Consciously staying tuned in to what’s going on at the moment–and consciously refusing to let oursleves be sucked into past thoughts or any anxieties the future “holds”.
Yes, it can be done.
Simple, not easy, but very do-able… the hardest part is just catching ourself, REMEMBERING to do this.
Thanks Jeannie!
-jef
Jef,
Great post, and accurate. Reminds me of the ideas from the book, As A Man Thinketh, by James Allen. Great blog, too. Came across it as I was setting up mine (didn’t have enough to do, so…). Anyway, great to make contact again and glad to see your book is in its second edition.
Readers: If I’d never met Alan Foust, I would have never written Conquering Deception… he’s the guy who (unwittingly) motivated me to write in the first place; inspired might be the better word.
I worked for him during my u/c time and learned a lot from him, was led to think in ways I hadn’t considered before. Oh, and Alan gets credit for being the first person professionally to recognize abnormal potential in me.
If you’ve attended one of my presentations you’ve heard me mention Alan Foust by name. He’s an original thinker with a lot of diverse experience, so you’ll want to check out his blog here: http://blog.missouriboy.com/
Alan: Thanks for checking in… I’ll give you a call soon, we need to catch up.
-jef
This is a good post, Jef. You’re probably going to hear me quoting you in several places. Nicely done! -Chuc
Very nice, much appreciate that Chuc!