Comments on: Subterfuge, Shelter, Arrogance, Sincerity—6 Reasons People Ask You Questions… (Can You Guess the 7th?)

By: Jef

Jef — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 02:49:04 +0000

I’ll have a followup post to answer this for you… thanks Jeannie!

-jef

By: **Jeannie

**Jeannie — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 12:54:29 +0000

Nice! I will remember this so i can apply it some time. Any tips on how to practice it Jef?

By: Jef

Jef — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 00:52:23 +0000

hey Calvin, you nailed it!

You’re dead on, well said: Clever (mainupulative?) people will “ask a question in an attempt to lead you (which makes you believe you came upon the answer yourself).”

The most powerful use of a question is to lead the other person to your conclusion… via their own reasoning. Like Eisenhower said, “Leadership is getting another person to do what you want done, because he wants to do it.”

Instead of telling a kid to eat, ask “Is your food good?” People don’t like to be told what to do… or think. But if you can ask a question that allows them to believe the conclusion is theirs, theyll always act on it.

Well done, Calvin… we’ll send you an email to the address you furnished with your post, when your mail address is received your CD will be on its way… thanks!

-jef

By: Calvin

Calvin — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 23:49:12 +0000

Ha! Ok, let me try again! You stated Jeannie’s “ulterior motive” was close as well as mine, so I’m going to guess again that:

People also ask a question in an attempt to lead you (which makes you believe you came upon the answer yourself).

To make you pick one or the other (they force you to choose an option they state rather than you suggesting a third option).

I know I’ve probably exhausted my guesses but I’m quite curious as to what the seventh is!

By: Jef

Jef — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 21:52:50 +0000

hey, Calvin, sorry for the my lateness, just returned from speaking at an event in DC… okay, you’re not far off, nice shot… but think manipulation? But you’re close enuf I’m sending you a little gift for your effort… watch your email.

-jef

By: Calvin

Calvin — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 05:19:23 +0000

Hmmmm…..I’m thinking it’s to hear you confirm what they are already assuming?

By: Jef

Jef — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 22:06:39 +0000

Jim, clever people DO use questions to change the direction of a conversation… that’s one of the best ways to make use of them… nice shot, close, keep thinking… I’ll post the answer to this the after the 4th of July.

Thanks J!

-jef

By: Jim

Jim — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 16:15:58 +0000

How about– to change direction of the conversation

By: Jef

Jef — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 19:11:21 +0000

Ulterior motive? close, but no cigar! Good guesses Jeannie, and great use of the ’shotgun method’! I don’t think you’re the kind to use #7, so it remains elusive… thanks Jeannie!

-jef

By: **Jeannie

**Jeannie — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 07:48:46 +0000

#7 There is genuine interest… Someone wants to establish rapport… there is an ulterior motive… the person is just being nice… The person is socializing, being sociable, social… playing dumb just to flatter you… etc.

I am more of a genuinely interested and social person.

Call me ’social jeannie’…