Comments on: Read Body Language—But There’s Danger in the Myth… http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/2009/06/04/read-body-language%e2%80%94but-theres-danger-in-the-myth-plus-20-bonus-for-reading-this/ Been lied to lately? Or could you tell--how to master deception, lying, and conversation... Mon, 06 Feb 2012 10:09:19 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: Jef http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/2009/06/04/read-body-language%e2%80%94but-theres-danger-in-the-myth-plus-20-bonus-for-reading-this/comment-page-1/#comment-282 Jef Sat, 27 Mar 2010 01:21:05 +0000 http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/?p=798#comment-282 hey Calvin, very interested in what you wrote here. It's good to hear from someone who's compared the merits of body language vs. words, and realizes the power of the spoken word... and that some select pieces of body language are worthwhile. No baselines in the field, great point. Being a cop is fast and furious training on all of this, some master it, others don't even realize there's something to master. I really appreciate your inights Calvin, good stuff. -jef hey Calvin, very interested in what you wrote here. It’s good to hear from someone who’s compared the merits of body language vs. words, and realizes the power of the spoken word… and that some select pieces of body language are worthwhile. No baselines in the field, great point. Being a cop is fast and furious training on all of this, some master it, others don’t even realize there’s something to master.

I really appreciate your inights Calvin, good stuff.

-jef

]]> By: Calvin http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/2009/06/04/read-body-language%e2%80%94but-theres-danger-in-the-myth-plus-20-bonus-for-reading-this/comment-page-1/#comment-280 Calvin Fri, 26 Mar 2010 20:28:22 +0000 http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/?p=798#comment-280 I must admit I've read books, sites, and e-books on body language, statement analysis, deception detection and micro-expressions. I started reading the body language books first but leaned towards what people say the more I became interested in it. Why? Because I'm a rookie cop. And I agree with Jef, that you can only dedicate so much "hard drive" to reading body language while simultaneously trying to listen to their words. Add to that fact that I'm constantly assessing where a suspect's friends are around me, what he's doing with his hands, if my weapon side is facing away from him,etc. In field interviews you don't always have time to establish a base line. Most people you come upon are already upset and their mind & mouth is moving 100 mph. That said, it's so much easier for them to slip up and say something they probably shouldn't have. Furthermore, I'm no Dr. Lightman (from the show "Lie to Me")....I can't point out every expression/body movement in such detail that it "scares" the suspect in to telling the truth. I CAN however, call them on the words they say. Those words are what will be seen as a confession, not their body language. So I still love both and all aspects of detecting deception, both their words (written or spoken) and their body language. But I prefer to use the body language techniques to supplement detecting deception in the spoken/written word. Thanks Jef! I must admit I’ve read books, sites, and e-books on body language, statement analysis, deception detection and micro-expressions. I started reading the body language books first but leaned towards what people say the more I became interested in it.

Why? Because I’m a rookie cop. And I agree with Jef, that you can only dedicate so much “hard drive” to reading body language while simultaneously trying to listen to their words.

Add to that fact that I’m constantly assessing where a suspect’s friends are around me, what he’s doing with his hands, if my weapon side is facing away from him,etc.

In field interviews you don’t always have time to establish a base line. Most people you come upon are already upset and their mind & mouth is moving 100 mph. That said, it’s so much easier for them to slip up and say something they probably shouldn’t have. Furthermore, I’m no Dr. Lightman (from the show “Lie to Me”)….I can’t point out every expression/body movement in such detail that it “scares” the suspect in to telling the truth. I CAN however, call them on the words they say. Those words are what will be seen as a confession, not their body language.

So I still love both and all aspects of detecting deception, both their words (written or spoken) and their body language. But I prefer to use the body language techniques to supplement detecting deception in the spoken/written word.

Thanks Jef!

]]> By: Jef http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/2009/06/04/read-body-language%e2%80%94but-theres-danger-in-the-myth-plus-20-bonus-for-reading-this/comment-page-1/#comment-188 Jef Sun, 16 Aug 2009 05:20:13 +0000 http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/?p=798#comment-188 hey, no such thing as late here... and hopefully anybody new to my blog will go back through the posts and make comments as they like. I see 'em all and I usually try to respond. sounds like i'm down on body language i guess. it's more that i know how powerful the spoken word is, that it's EVERYWHERE, and that it reveals multitudes more than any form of body language. the term 'body language' is very marketable, fascinating, so mysterious... and there's value in some of it. i've just always been very narrow (and simple) in what i choose to use of it. i am down on a lot of the 'experts' out there, especially in the body language industry. a lot of them are just students/researchers of existng work, they study up on it, then write a book and/or speak on the subject... rather than having a skill and teaching it to others, they're just pimping the craze. sitting knee to knee with a murder suspect, i wonder how these academians would fare... and whether they'd choose body language next time as their primary tool for the job. if you've read several books on body language, you've probably got the jist of what's out there... i really don't have any favorites in that league, but if you want a fascinating book on what makes people tick (that's what it's really all about anyway, right?!), check out The 48 Laws of Power... (Greene and Elfers, I think?) so i really appreciate your interest, and thanks for getting a copy of my book... pls let me know if you have any questions while/after reading it, I'll be glad to answer anything for you. thanks A, enjoy! -jef hey, no such thing as late here… and hopefully anybody new to my blog will go back through the posts and make comments as they like. I see ‘em all and I usually try to respond.

sounds like i’m down on body language i guess. it’s more that i know how powerful the spoken word is, that it’s EVERYWHERE, and that it reveals multitudes more than any form of body language. the term ‘body language’ is very marketable, fascinating, so mysterious… and there’s value in some of it. i’ve just always been very narrow (and simple) in what i choose to use of it.

i am down on a lot of the ‘experts’ out there, especially in the body language industry. a lot of them are just students/researchers of existng work, they study up on it, then write a book and/or speak on the subject… rather than having a skill and teaching it to others, they’re just pimping the craze. sitting knee to knee with a murder suspect, i wonder how these academians would fare… and whether they’d choose body language next time as their primary tool for the job.

if you’ve read several books on body language, you’ve probably got the jist of what’s out there… i really don’t have any favorites in that league, but if you want a fascinating book on what makes people tick (that’s what it’s really all about anyway, right?!), check out The 48 Laws of Power… (Greene and Elfers, I think?)

so i really appreciate your interest, and thanks for getting a copy of my book… pls let me know if you have any questions while/after reading it, I’ll be glad to answer anything for you.

thanks A, enjoy!

-jef

]]> By: Anomoly http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/2009/06/04/read-body-language%e2%80%94but-theres-danger-in-the-myth-plus-20-bonus-for-reading-this/comment-page-1/#comment-187 Anomoly Sun, 16 Aug 2009 00:47:52 +0000 http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/?p=798#comment-187 I know i'm way late on responding to this post, i just bought the book and am very excited to delve into it. I've read several books on body language and micro-expressions (that would still be considered body language right :) having your explanations on this short article really opened my eyes up that we should 'question everything' (even if it comes from experts. After your book do you have others that you would recommend on the subject? I'm now even more excited to get into your book. Thanks! Anomoly I know i’m way late on responding to this post, i just bought the book and am very excited to delve into it. I’ve read several books on body language and micro-expressions (that would still be considered body language right :) having your explanations on this short article really opened my eyes up that we should ‘question everything’ (even if it comes from experts.

After your book do you have others that you would recommend on the subject? I’m now even more excited to get into your book. Thanks!
Anomoly

]]> By: ***jeannie*** http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/2009/06/04/read-body-language%e2%80%94but-theres-danger-in-the-myth-plus-20-bonus-for-reading-this/comment-page-1/#comment-108 ***jeannie*** Sun, 07 Jun 2009 02:44:45 +0000 http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/?p=798#comment-108 I know...no excuse. It's actually funny and embarrassing. He was a good cop and am thankful he helped me out (took pity actually). This was 10 yrs ago. Hey am a good citizen and I'm the first to call the cops in my neighborhood... About body language, and words. Here's my thoughts. What if a person is just unable to communicate well, or has the tendency to exaggerate because of that reason? I get misconstrued all the time, so I am being extra careful now of the words I use etc. In getting the truth from others, I don't want to rely on body language. A lot of times though, I focus on it. I think the problem is in my own communication skills. If I am unable to establish rapport and let the person reveal things to me, then naturally i rely on body language. j I know…no excuse. It’s actually funny and embarrassing. He was a good cop and am thankful he helped me out (took pity actually). This was 10 yrs ago. Hey am a good citizen and I’m the first to call the cops in my neighborhood…

About body language, and words. Here’s my thoughts. What if a person is just unable to communicate well, or has the tendency to exaggerate because of that reason? I get misconstrued all the time, so I am being extra careful now of the words I use etc.

In getting the truth from others, I don’t want to rely on body language. A lot of times though, I focus on it. I think the problem is in my own communication skills. If I am unable to establish rapport and let the person reveal things to me, then naturally i rely on body language.

j

]]> By: Jef http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/2009/06/04/read-body-language%e2%80%94but-theres-danger-in-the-myth-plus-20-bonus-for-reading-this/comment-page-1/#comment-107 Jef Sun, 07 Jun 2009 00:46:05 +0000 http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/?p=798#comment-107 Jeannie, cops don't like to be lied to. They have huge egos & they just can't take it. Just think what they'd have done to Rodney King if he'd told 'em a lie... Jeannie, cops don’t like to be lied to. They have huge egos & they just can’t take it. Just think what they’d have done to Rodney King if he’d told ‘em a lie…

]]> By: **jeannie http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/2009/06/04/read-body-language%e2%80%94but-theres-danger-in-the-myth-plus-20-bonus-for-reading-this/comment-page-1/#comment-106 **jeannie Sat, 06 Jun 2009 04:50:58 +0000 http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/?p=798#comment-106 Would you believe that once upon a time i attempted do deceive an LAPD officer LOL. What was I thinking? He was nice enough to let me go. Would you believe that once upon a time i attempted do deceive an LAPD officer LOL. What was I thinking? He was nice enough to let me go.

]]> By: Jef http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/2009/06/04/read-body-language%e2%80%94but-theres-danger-in-the-myth-plus-20-bonus-for-reading-this/comment-page-1/#comment-105 Jef Sat, 06 Jun 2009 03:19:06 +0000 http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/?p=798#comment-105 Hey, Chad, sorry I missed your last point. I did watch body language as an interrogator, but really I had to pick between watching--and listening. We only have so much hard drive for processing all this stuff. And I realized there was a lot more to learn from their words than their movements. So I moved away from the body language (execept for some very specific pieces that I alluded to) and focused on the words. Big results. Hope that helps Chad! -jef Hey, Chad, sorry I missed your last point. I did watch body language as an interrogator, but really I had to pick between watching–and listening. We only have so much hard drive for processing all this stuff. And I realized there was a lot more to learn from their words than their movements.

So I moved away from the body language (execept for some very specific pieces that I alluded to) and focused on the words. Big results.

Hope that helps Chad!

-jef

]]> By: Jef http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/2009/06/04/read-body-language%e2%80%94but-theres-danger-in-the-myth-plus-20-bonus-for-reading-this/comment-page-1/#comment-104 Jef Sat, 06 Jun 2009 03:12:57 +0000 http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/?p=798#comment-104 It's not that I don't believe Body Language has validity--some of it does. It's just that it's not the end-all that many experts would have you believe. They're caught up in the myth themselves, the myth that watching a person's movements is more revealing that what they say. Just isn't the case. There are a few VERY reliable pieces of body language and I made sure to include them in Conquering Deception and my Insiders Report. One of them: NOSE RUBS. Easy to learn, obvious to spot, and to use the IN vernacular of the day: SPOT ON. Thanks Chad! It’s not that I don’t believe Body Language has validity–some of it does. It’s just that it’s not the end-all that many experts would have you believe. They’re caught up in the myth themselves, the myth that watching a person’s movements is more revealing that what they say. Just isn’t the case.

There are a few VERY reliable pieces of body language and I made sure to include them in Conquering Deception and my Insiders Report. One of them: NOSE RUBS. Easy to learn, obvious to spot, and to use the IN vernacular of the day: SPOT ON.

Thanks Chad!

]]> By: Chad http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/2009/06/04/read-body-language%e2%80%94but-theres-danger-in-the-myth-plus-20-bonus-for-reading-this/comment-page-1/#comment-103 Chad Sat, 06 Jun 2009 00:07:47 +0000 http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/?p=798#comment-103 Jef, Enjoyed this post. I've read a lot about body language, maybe because there's more out there on it, but just wondering why you don't believe in it? Did you use it as a cop? Find it wasn't useful? Or did you just go by what they were saying to determine if they were lying? Jef, Enjoyed this post. I’ve read a lot about body language, maybe because there’s more out there on it, but just wondering why you don’t believe in it? Did you use it as a cop? Find it wasn’t useful? Or did you just go by what they were saying to determine if they were lying?

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