Argument is a Loser: How to Persuade Others Through Reverse Logic…
Whether it’s in a business situation, or a personal conversation with someone close to us, this is human nature: We tend to focus first on what we want.
What we want may be to close the sale.
Or sway their opinion.
Or just get them to agree with us.
As we try to accomplish the goal of persuasion, our subliminal ‘logic’ leads us to expose our true objectives, to allow the other person to plainly see what we’re after. This makes persuading them much more difficult than it needs to be.
Have you noticed that people tend to want what other people have, or what another person places value on? When the person you’re dealing with realizes how badly you want their cooperation—however that might be defined in a given conversation—you’ve put yourself at a great disadvantage.
In my Deception Secrets© Audio System I’ll tell you in great detail how not revealing what you’re really after empowers you… to get it! I know this is contrary to instinctual logic, but keep in mind that instinct will always lure you into defeating yourself in conversation.
That’s why I’m telling you here to throw that instinctual logic away—and use its reverse form.
Rather than pushing them to do or think as you wish, pull back and consider what they want. Sometimes we get so consumed with our own aims that we ignore a simpler, less strenuous route of influence: Giving the other person what they want first.
Always remember, the person you’re conversing with wants something, too. They may want to change your mind as badly you want to change theirs. They may want you to admit that you’re wrong. Or they may just be resisting your efforts to get them to change their mind. People have a hard time giving in, sometimes, don’t they?
It’s called ego.
If you’re unsure what they want, just listen—they’ll tell you. An example? Great salespeople do this before making their pitch. They ask questions, determine what keeps the prospect up at night, what their needs are, what they want. Then they deliver their pitch to fit the needs of person they’re selling to. They provide a solution… to the prospect’s problem.
In personal conversations, sometimes what the other person wants is simply to be heard. So listen to them. Don’t argue, and agree with them when you can. Instead of insisting they go your way, gently guide them: “That’s a good point, I hadn’t thought of that. What’s your opinion on this, do you think it might work, too, if we…”
You can’t change another person’s mind. And you shouldn’t try to. Instead, use reverse logic if you want to influence another person: Simply allow them to come to your conclusions, but through their own reasoning.
Do it by:
1-resisting that instinctual pitfall of revealing your true objective
2-giving them what they want first
3-providing an alternative that allows them to feel they’ve come to their own conclusion
With a little practice, you’ll find that by giving others what they want first, getting what you want usually comes pretty easily.
Tags: argument, deception secrets audio system, ego, influence, instinct, logic, persuasion
I was in sales once upon a time, and was fairly effective. Listening to what customers want is an easy way to figure out what they want, so you can sell it to them. But it also reveals what their objections to a product are, even if not stated explicitly.
It’s also a great way to establish trust, which goes a long way toward making the sale, or whatever else your goal may be.
Great points, Brad, and I failed to mention
them: Listen to determine objections AND
build trust. Works in personal conversations,
too.
Thanks for the feedback, Brad!
Readers: Check out Brad’s blog at
http://www.bradraple.blogspot.com/
He’s got some Great Stuff there…
-jef
I have to get my people to talk. In my business, my first contact with them is through a flyer or an email. I guess, in this form of correspondence, I should ask them a question already.
I then get to speak with them on the phone sometimes, before meeting them in person. I’ll use that as an opportunity to ask.
At the events I invite them to, I deliver my service (a music class for them and their little ones), and then i do my sales pitch, and then don’t close! dang it. sorry LOL
I follow up w/ phone calls and emails, still no business is closed, even if they all had a more than positive experience with me. You’re right, it’s ego. I have to think about how to use reverse logic here.
http://musicandbounce.com
hey, Jeannie, if you’re getting prospective customers to a physical meeting you’re doing something right to that point. You’re motivating people to load up in the car and GO: No small thing you’ve accomplished there!
Finding out what they want is important, and to that point it’s CRITICAL that we emphasize BENEFITS… not features. So instead of “Our vacuum cleaners have chromium manganese diodes” we’d be better off telling them, “Our vacuum has a 70% larger head, and that reduces your time vacuuming by half”. That’s a benefit. Benefits, not features. Big point, and one that even big league advertising agencies fail on routinely.
And Brad touched on a point above that might benefit you: You need to know their objections, why the people who pass… make that choice. Then you can craft your subesquent pitches to overcome their objections in advance.
Most of all, don’t give up. If you’re passionate about what you do, keep tweaking your techniques. Stay flexible, keep an open mind to trying different techniques and eliminating what DOESN”T work.
Selling is a series of events, a chain, and your results are subject to the weakest link.
Hey, it takes time to figure out what works… Think Orville and Wilbur.
-jef