The 2 Deadly Subjects of Conversation You Must Avoid at all Cost—Your Quick Lesson on the Power of Words, from Barack Obama & Don Rickles…
By Jef on June 14, 2012

don_ricklesYou want to know a secret? 

Words are powerful.

Not because they have powerbut because we give them power.

When another person speaks, we nearly always have an emotion that follows, putting us in jeopardy of being a puppet on a string.  We’re flattered, embarrassed, depressed, turned off /on, insulted, excited, curious, mad, confused… or even happy.  

Part I:

So the story of Barack Obama insulting 38 million Poles two weeks ago snagged my interest.  You can read the story here if you missed it. 

A few thoughts occurred to me when I read about the upset:

1-Contrary to common logic, an insult isn’t (more…)

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Are You Focused or Distracted? How to Master the Only 2 States of Mind You’re Ever in…
By Jef on February 19, 2012

thought-controlDo you ever stop to think about… what you’re thinking about?

What do you think most of your thoughts concern:  Yourself?  Others?  An ever-alternating mix of the two?

Our minds are like little machines that never stop running.  So we get used to the continual purring of the motor, virtually NEVER even realizing what it’s producing… or considering that we can affect the product. 

So I’ll ask you to consider this:  How much of your thought do you think is centered on control

And how much of that thought has to do with (more…)

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Kings of Denial: Must-know Lessons from Eric Holder, Jerry Sandusky, and Herman Cain (with a bonus maneuver from Newt Gingrich)…
By Jef on January 24, 2012

Have you ever accused another person of something?

If so, did you already know they were guiltyor were you still in the “investigation” stage of the matter?

Most importantly, did you notice their reaction… to the accusation?

Whether the subject is infidelity, money missing (more…)

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New Year’s Resolution Attack #2—All Your Outcomes Manifest Through this Simple Formula: Thought, Decision, & Action…
By Jef on December 31, 2011

So I’ve been AWOL from my blog since the end of September.


Well, I could probably come up with a lot reasons (excuses) why I haven’t posted anything in so long, but there’s really just one.  It’s among the 3 belowwhich do you think it was? 

I’ve been:

1Hitch hiking cross-continent

2In and out of rehab (more…)

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It’s True: Deception is Accomplished in the Mind of the Listener—but There’s No Guilt in Believing (Expansion/clarification on an Earlier Post)…
By Jef on September 28, 2011

lying-mag-coverBelieving the words of other people is natural.  In fact, it’s necessary

Even a guy like me tends to believe people initially… yep, I subscribe to The Truth Bias just like you do. 

But there’s believing, and then there’s trusting

We tend to believe everyone (it’s shallow enough, though, we can toss it aside immediately when there’s cause for doubt).

And we tend to trust the people closest to us (and it’s deep enough with family and friends that we can maintain it to our detriment).

With trust comes risk, right?  Put your trust, your faith, in another person and you’re vulnerable.  Don’t infer that I’m suggesting trust is a bad idea.  It’s not.  It’s necessary.  But it does leave you vulnerable.  And so herein lies the trick to it all, the safety valve:  Knowing when to (more…)

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The “Truth Bias” & The Power of “The Big Lie”—A Quick Lesson for You from Adolph Hitler, Dr. Goebbels, and a Healthy Girl from Texas…
By Jef on September 20, 2011

adolf-hitlerEvery time you hear another person speak, you decide whether to believe themor not.

For virtually everyone, this “decision” is made passively, by default:  They believe.

This automatic tendency toward belief isn’t due to naivet’e, ignorance, or having not read my book, but just a phenomenon called ”The Truth Bias“, which simply means that we all naturally tend to believe what others tell us. 

This default faith in what others say remains perfectly intact until we have reason for doubt.  Sometimes that doubt comes almost instantly… sometimes never.  People do tell the truth sometimes, you know.  

When I read this week about (more…)

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Silence is a Weapon—Quick Lesson for You from Barak Obama and His Reluctant Teleprompter…
By Jef on August 23, 2011

Mid-morning last week I surfaced from work in my underground lair, reheated some BBQ chicken, and sat down in front of the television for a quick lunch. 

Since I watch VERY little TV, it’s sort of fortuitous that I happened to land on a channel that was carrying what would be a very unusual (more…)

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Farewell to Peter Falk, An Analysis of Columbo-style Questioning, and My Weird Experience on Roxbury Drive…
By Jef on July 12, 2011

peter-falks-houseGood TV should never be confused with reality. 

But we confuse the two all the time. 

Cops may be the worst on this one.

Believe it or not, when I was ”on the job” I personally saw other detectives do TV-style interrogations on actual suspects. 

They yelled.  They intimidated.  On more than one occasion I heard a fellow officer say, ”Do you know what they do to punks like you in the joint?”  And they expected a guy to confess after hearing this? 

The last homicide case I worked as a detective was the double murder of an elderly couple.  They’d been together constantly for 55 yearsand were still together in death on side-by-side tables for their Saturday afternoon autopsies.  While we waited (more…)

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Lying is a Crime: Casey Anthony, Un-Reliable Juries, and My Stolen Crystal Ball…
By Jef on July 6, 2011

casey-anthonyMany years ago I knocked a Gypsy fortune teller on the head and swiped her crystal ball.     

I never had any faith in the thing working, but still I’d dust it off occasionally over the years and crank it up for guests, or when things were slow around the house.  You know, just for fun. 

So you can credit coincidence, intuition, or a crystal ball that’s right once in a blue moon, but 2 of my recent posts contained a couple of foreshadowings that were manifested through the Casey Anthony verdict yesterday:

Foreshadowing Number 1# – In the Oprah/OJ post I mentioned that “we often consider the lie more egregious than the act they lied about”. 

Is it interesting to you that the jury (more…)

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Truth Killers: The Two Deadliest Sins of Deception—a Quick Lesson for You, Courtesy of Oprah and OJ…
By Jef on June 24, 2011

oj-simpson2Were you surprised when Oprah said last week that she wanted to interview OJ Simpsonwith the condition that he confess to the murders of his ex-wife Nicole and friend Ron Goldman?

Would you be surprised if he submitted to her demand?

I guess my surprise was that Oprah thinks he’s guilty.

You can see a clip of Oprah talking about her idea here.  In it she says, “I wanted to talk to him, not because, you know, not to be a voyeur for that evening, but just because (more…)

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