Winners Throw the First Punch: The Fine Line Between a Complaint and a Bragging Point—Quick Lesson for You from the Disparaged Apple iPhone4…
By Jef on July 17, 2010

iphoneI was just reading the blog of my friend Chuc Barnes, who has a great post in support of the iPhone4 and Apple in general. 

You’ve probably heard by now about the reception problems some users have experienced with their new generation phones, and I was fascinated by something Chuc had in his post:  The complaint rate is just .55%!  So this got me to thinking…

Consider this:  Whether it’s a fist-fight, a political scandal, or a problem with a new product, he who is first to the draw has the advantage.  In this case, the news of the iPhone4 problems came fast and furious through media reports, blogs, and top-of-the-hour news spots.  Buried deep in stories like this one was the truth of the infinitesimal fail rate.

And let me ask you this:  What would have been the result if Apple (more…)

Follow-up to Last Post: Here’s The 7th Reason People Ask You Questions (You Tell Me: Is This Manipulation?)…
By Jef on July 5, 2010

I just returned from a speaking appearance on the East Coast, and I made a point to my audience that dovetails nicely with what I’m about to tell you in this post.  The underlying principle that makes the 7th Reason People Ask You Questions so powerful is this, and it’s what I told the folks attending my event:  “People want to believe themselves, not you.  If you want to influence another person, allow them to (more…)

Subterfuge, Shelter, Arrogance, Sincerity—6 Reasons People Ask You Questions… (Can You Guess the 7th?)
By Jef on June 22, 2010

questions2 

Most people don’t ask a lot of questions (their loss).

 

When they do ask, virtually EVERYONE fails to fully capitalize on the power of questions (HUGE missed opportunities).

 

I can’t overstate how important it is that you ask good questions of others, regardless the context of the conversation.  Questions are the most powerful conversational weapon you can master—so powerful that asking them the wrong way can bring you negative results… even elicit deception where it (more…)

Jef Nance Confesses: “I Watched The Bachelorette” (and Discovered the Deception by ‘Craig M.’ that the Whole Country Has Fallen for…)
By Jef on June 1, 2010

It was my turn to address the group at a meeting of the National Speakers Association a few nights ago, and I opened by saying, “In my past life, I used to get confessions out of people…” 

Before I could say another word, a lady blurted out in amazement, “You used to be a priest?!” 

Me, a priest… wow, now that’s a new one.  Of course, the confessions I used to listen to were in a police station, not a church!

But occasionally I have a confession of my own, so here’s one now:  I watched ABC’s The Bachelorette.  Not just one night, but two.  I did it for my wife, okay?  Will I watch the whole season?  No.  Well, if she makes me.

Anyway, since confessions and accusations always travel together, I have one of those, too: (more…)

Do Public Figures Make Better Liars? Richard Blumenthal, Jesse James, and My Appearance on WNYC Got Me Thinking…
By Jef on May 30, 2010

jesse-james1My interview this week on WNYC’s Leonard Lopate Show started me thinking about public figures and deception.

Question:  How many celebrity scandals involve deception?  

Answer:  All of ‘em!

Scandals can be limited to a household, or they can be known to the whole world.  And whether it’s Bill Clinton, Bernie Madoff, Jesse James, or the person living next door to you who’s at the heart of controversy, the whole thing always unfolds like this: 

Phase 1The Act:  Somebody tried to fool somebody else (spouse, business partner, investors, the public…). 

Phase 2The Cover-up:  After their short term wants are satisfied, they have to conceal (more…)

Plane Conversation: How to Tell if Someone is Lying, A Quick Lesson on the Under-Appreciated Value of Simple Listening…
By Jef on May 2, 2010

airport1What’s the best way to get information from another person?  Ask them for it. 

It’s amazing what people will tell you with just a little nudge or some subtle guidance. 

In fact, people are so anxious to tell you what they know, sometimes to learn something interesting, all you need to do is listen.

I was on a flight from Chicago to Detroit a few nights ago, and was sitting next to two total strangers.  I had the aisle seat as always, there was a guy next to me who was coming back from Vegas, and the fellow at the window was on his way to a company meeting.

I’m not much on plane conversation, and I’m not an eavesdropper; but I was a captive (more…)

Deception in Personal Relationships—5 Tips: How to Tell if Someone is Lying to You (and More About the Reading Body Language Myth)…
By Jef on April 25, 2010

 

Occasionally I get invitiations to guest-post on other blogs, and sometime last year I got one from Seth Simonds, who runs the popular relationship advice blog, thedatingpapers.com.   He asked me to write a piece on deception in personal relationships, something I thought you (more…)

Fair Warning to the Gullible (and the Mischevious): March 32, Liar’s Amnesty Day (Otherwise Known as April Fools’ Day) is Fast Appoaching…
By Jef on March 31, 2010

april-fool1There’s more to April Fools’ Day than most people realize.

It’s “celebrated” in many countries, goes back to at least the 14th Century, and is practiced in some places according to the time of day.  Can get pretty intricate.  You can see a general history of it here.

Some people get pretty elaborate and use the day for cover to execute pranks on the unsuspecting.  If you’re the mischevious type, or you just want to know (more…)

Bad Brakes, Too Much Gas, and the Little Rascals—a Quick Lesson on Deception Through Twisting Perception…
By Jef on March 25, 2010

witch-illusionThose of you up to speed on your Little Rascals might have realized where I got the inspiration for the title of my last post:  “Breaks is Gone, We’s Free-Wheelin!”.  It came from the episode where Spanky and Buckwheat start downhill in their car fashioned from an old crate, and mid-way down realize their brakes (also homemade) are out.  

I never questioned the title until I re-read it this week, and something ironic occurred to me. 

The Toyota story wasn’t about bad brakes; they worked fine, didn’t they?  The problem was just the opposite:  Too much gas! 

But consider this, having no way to stop and having too much power brings the same exact result:  An out of control vehicle.

Is a little strange that two opposites could be contained in the same thing?  You may have (more…)

Hey, Spanky: “Breaks is Gone, We’s Free-Wheelin!”—for Your Consideration, the Truthless Tale of the Runaway Toyota and its Hapless Pilot…
By Jef on March 10, 2010

When news broke this week about the accelerator sticking on a California man’s Prius, the media reported it as factual, and average people said to one another, “Hey,  did you hear (more…)